“May I resolve to evolve,” I ask the Divine.
Resolve to evolve, to consciously seek a deeper understanding of Self.
This request is for the continual progression of understanding. An understanding of life in this body. I am realizing my request for personal evolution is becoming more of an involutioneach year. This life journey moving me more and more inward with a deeper desire to tend more inside than outside.
The recognition of a shift of evolving to involuting came while considering what to put onto the 2019 new year card. Every new year, I create a card. These yearly markers stashed away in a sacred spot date back over 15 years. They are milestones depicting the examination of life. Sometimes I pull them all out and reconsider the overall arch followed by my life. Each New Year’s Eve gives space to truly reflect on what is happening around and through me. The writing and imagery, on each card created, reflects a vision. Words and images depict an energy, a retrospective glimpse, and an inspiration toward a forming momentum awaiting manifestation.
This year’s card is covered in patterns and images of art nouveau flowers, a bird soaring, another bird singing on top of a dogwood branch that is blooming with a white pedaled flower. It has five words on it: “Dare… Create, grow, and expand.”
Dare myself I am. After decades of practicing Yoga, a big plan is being put in place. A plan that’s been in the mental conceptualizing phase for several years. The formulation is an off shoot of over three decade’s worth of personal evolution through the full life system named Yoga. For almost the entire twentieth year of life I spent many of my waking moments attempting to withdraw my senses away from the agony in my body and mind. When the burning and pinching sensation of a needle pushing chemicals through my veins made me want to cry from the throbbing pain, I labored diligently to imagine my body healthy and whole. I spent hours and hours reading the writings of masters from the far east. I read of their ability to us their mind’s power to enter other realms. These writings inspired me to sit in meditative contemplation seeking calm between the bouts of nausea arising through the body.
Yoga is a full life practiceto me, I firmly know this now. When the elements underlying this ancient system (sense withdrawal, meditation, uniting with Divine energy) first offered their assistance, they came with no specific label. (Mantra/nāda and āsana came many years later.) Now after decades of daily interweaving it all makes so much sense to me, on every level of who I am. All the outer actions and inner reflections are aligning to make Yoga,less and less mysterious for me. I am edging myself toward an expansive vision of how Yoga’s complete system can be melded into a self-empowering personal leadership instrument, something way beyond the mat. A way of living every day, all day, in and out of work meetings. A way of interacting with children, adults, teens. A way of being so one can align with their most authentic self, no faking.
The ancient knowledge and ways of Yoga have much to offer those making their way through the modern world. This became especially clear to me as I sat along the Ganga, while in India this last year. Observations of a land immersed in the past and desperately reaching to the future creates a palpable tension. I held this tension, during my months there, with a deep curiousity and a bit of sadness. Then, when I sat in the private garden of an infamous swami in Rishikesh, a deep remembering washed over me. A remembrance of how I felt at the beginning of this long journey into Self. The way I held space for the pain and the peace.
As I recollected, a more solid vision began to form through the expanding feeling in my chest. The vision daring me to use this expansive sensation in combination with life’s evolution (and involution) and many decades of professional experience in the Yoga, well-being practices and leadership realm. Another layer to my own outer evolution. I solidly sense how a Yogic way of growth and expansion can create sustainable change in our rapidly forward moving modern world. I know this will be another outer evolution pushing LL to “walk the talk” on a whole new level. It excites me to envision holding space staked in traditional Yogic philosophies and practices. A space for anyone who wishes to enter into this deeper level of awareness of Self. The increasing inner force (within me) is compelling me to design an approach where folks can safely delve into those unknown crevices of Self through the physical element of ropes courses and sitting with mentally provocative conversations about true power (akin to the current model I use with inner-city foster youth). Where individuals can consider what it means to be authentically compelling without pretense or agenda. A personal paradigm shift template of modern leadership through a Yogic lens. A modern-day leadership style for living out our most compelling self, led by the knowledge and methods of ancient seekers.
May I my resolve to evolve, and be of service
to those on the journey of personal evolution and involution.